|
[21 Jun 2011|10:24pm] |
|
All those days, chasing down a daydream...
|
|
|
[31 Jan 2011|10:25pm] |
Anyone who ever held you
Would tell you the way I'm feeling
Anyone who ever wanted you
Would try to tell you what I feel inside
The only thing I ever wanted
Was the feeling that you ain't faking
The only one you ever thought about
Wait a minute can't you see that I..
I wanna fall from the stars
Straight into your arms
I, I feel you
I hope you comprehend
For the man who tried to hurt you
He's explaining the way I'm feeling
For all the jealousy I caused you
States the reason why I'm trying to hide
As for all the things you taught me
It sends my future into clearer dimensions
You'll never know how much you hurt me
Wait a minute can't you see that I..
I wanna fall from the stars
Straight into your arms
I, I feel you
I hope you comprehend
Too many hearts are broken
A lover's promise never came with a "maybe"
So many words are left unspoken
The silent voices are driving me crazy
As for all the pain you caused me
Making up could never be your intention
You'll never know how much you hurt me
Stay, can't you see that I..
I wanna fall from the stars
Straight into your arms
I, I feel you
I hope you comprehend
|
|
| i should be fine. |
[18 Jan 2011|11:11pm] |
feeling so tired and lethargic nowadays..
feel like im being mind-fucked throughout the day.. so many new concepts, so many expectations. should have studied biz and/or economics.. the learning curve is so steep.
bah. im to tired to talk.
bye.
|
|
|
[05 Jan 2011|12:15am] |
Once in your life you make the friends that are true
Nothing else matters except what's between them and you
You don't know if anyone has ever before felt this way
For them you breathed, you wanted to be alive everyday
You'd put up with anything if it meant you got to see each of their faces
Here you are writing your life story and they are the basis
You know what's right and no one else can see
They're your world, everything you want your life to be
Not even sure if they feel the same way for you
Your stuck with this feeling what can you do?
Things are changing you don't feel the love anymore
You need to figure things out and get to the core
You're missing the feeling you used to love to feel
You're lost and your heart is confused how to deal
There's nothing else left to do but to move on
The feeling is no longer there but now you're uncertain whether you really wanted it gone..
|
|
| Time flies..a little too quickly for my liking. |
[20 Sep 2010|12:47am] |
Many meetups this week, but the one that meant the most was meeting you 3 nights back. Crappy food, crappy movie and crappy bar w crappy service, but the company more than made up for it.
Cant believe it's been 2 years, and that so many things happened during that time. my heart, it bled as I heard how much of a jackass he was and how much you sacrificed for him. I felt really indignant that you had to suffer so much for such a selfish person. and that he actually asked for a DNA test. I felt really helpless seeing you tear, i didnt know how i could help allievate the pain; even as a bystander i could feel the pain acutely too.. But having said that, i really hope that you'll be strong, and wait out the 1 year of seperation
As for the other issue, i hope you'll take the initiative to reach out this time. After all he has already tried 3 times, maybe this time you could meet him in the middle? Put away your pride and go for it!
Thanks so much for the advice as well. You really seem to have matured alot(i mean thoughtwise), and i see you in a totally different way from before :)
I'm sorry that i couldnt be there for you while all that happened, but i will definitely be from now on, no matter how busy i might be. Take care my friend..
___________________________________
ok i dun sound very coherent, im sleep deprived and im tired from a hectic schedule. i thought yr3 was supposed to be slack, ugh. but im still glad that i can squeeze out some time to meet a few friends and spend time with my family. of that i am content and happy.
now lets get back to work..
PS: I cant decide where to do my attachment at. %@&^*@!
|
|
|
[26 Jul 2010|09:58am] |
Whenever I am deeply moved by poetry, music or scenery, I realize that I am living in a meaning universe that deserves better of me than the small minded sloth in which I habitually live. And I suddenly realize the real deadliness of this lukewarm contentment that looks as harmless as ivy on a tree. It is systematically robbing me of life, embezzling my purpose and vitality. I must clearly focus on this immense meaning that surrounds me, and refuse to forget it; contemptuously reject all smaller meanings that try to persuade me to focus on them instead.
-Colin Wilson
|
|
| like a bee to honey |
[02 Jul 2010|11:57pm] |
i'm into your lips and everything you say
it makes me feel alive
|
|
|
[23 Jun 2010|09:23pm] |
|
wow early morning flights are such a bitch.
|
|
| y2s2 post mortem |
[20 Jun 2010|12:40pm] |
As mentioned earlier, y2s2 has been an extremely fruitful semester for me experience wise. through the many projects(read: mini-fyps) ive gained plenty in terms of friendship, time management and know-how. and im beginning to appreciate what im learning/going through finally.. yes its a little late i know but who cares :P
anyway, a short review on what's happened module wise:
cpe 205: OPERATING SYSTEMS. This module was quite interesting, it's a pity that i didnt have the time to understand it better. the labs for this were simply implementing the nachos os and explaining to the assessor what's going on. this is also the first time ive not gone to a single lecture for a module for the entire semester! yes, not a single one hahah. yeah besides that nothing much to talk about cuz i really didnt touch this module due to time constraints
cpe 206: MICROCONTROLLER SYSTEMS DESIGN. Very interesting subject. 1 of the major time consumers. often had to spend entire days in the lab doing the project, but it was fun! the project basically requires the student to, given a microcontroller w/ peripheral components, create a embedded system that is efficient and works well. it was a very fun mini-fyp of sorts and it was facinating how simple constructs like timers can produce a myriad of functionalities! my project was based on a printer control system with LCD output, and i added a graphics user interface(ie. interfacing between printer - embedded system - pc), a text input system whereby one can input text from the embedded system and choose to print it, or send it to the pc to be sent out as a email(something like a mobile phone function), and a musical piano system whereby different notes were played when different keys of the embedded system were pressed(manipulating sine waves), amongst others. very interesting! haha some of my friends were even better, they programmed car racing games, and even pokemon games! amazing! very satisfied with what ive gained from this module.
cpe 207: SOFTWARE ENGINEERING. THE most time consuming module ever! Despite the notion that lectures were to be taught online, we had weekly pop quizzes, seminars, and wiki exercises, all of which were graded! If that was not time consuming enough, we also had this very big industry-like software engine project, where the entire cohort was split into 2 rival companies to bid for a tender for a public bus simulaton system. and yes, this had to be done from scratch, and we had to demo the entire software product by week 13. Needless to say, we were mightly screwed! Each company was divided into 6 subsystems, and each subsystem had a Lead Developer. Every subsystem had to pick up lotsa new programming languages and methodologies in a short span of 1-2 weeks in order to progress; apache, tomcat, unreal 3D, mysql, xml were some of the things learnt to accomplish the desired functionalities. I was voted the lead developer of the database subsystem, and i was lucky to have most of my friends as team members as they were competent and willing to work hard to produce the extra functionalities that i set out to do. thank you guys! And by working hard, i mean really hard: we came back on weekends and public holidays(yes, the prof opened the lab for us..@&$!%@)till late, and I even spent my entire birthday in the lab! heh was kinda touched tho that they celebrated it for me :) ok back to the horror, we even did all-nighters when D-day was nearing, which was 1 week before the exams started! heh but having said all that, the sacrifice was all worth it when we clinched the winning bid!(and 7 bottles of champagne) :) was really excited and treated my team to sakae suhi :):) heh needless to say, i gained alot from this project, the camaraderie, new found friends, project management skills, planning workflows and timelines etc, learning about database design(which comes in handy next year..) and many more! i guess i'll look back at this course as 1 of the fondest memories of my time here. All the shit debugging and integrating systems, getting it to work, it was all real fun! :)
cpe 208: INSTRUMENTATION AND DATA ACQUISITION. This is really a very boring subject. Yet it was pretty time consuming as well, we had 1 lab report on a random lab session, and yet another embedded systems mini-fyp where we had to create a temperature sampling/measurement system + voltmeter and interface it with the pc. This was quite a challenge owing to the fact that we had to program it assembly language, and that this was on a totally different chipset from a different manufacturer. exam was very easy for this, came in late for it and still did well :)
hw 210: TECHNICAL COMMUNICATION. It's a nothing course really. just a plain waste of time. did up a research report and had to present it to the class, aka journal submission and conference presentations. no exams tho and i'm glad for that :)
cpe 279: DESIGN & DEVELOPMENT PROJECT. This is a really tough project that runs for 3 weeks, split into 1 week during recess week and 1-2 weeks after the exams(yes, wtf). We were randomly split into groups of 5-6 and were supposed to do up a hardware vehicle/mouse(given sensors, motors etc) that could follow lines, explore mazes and detect obstacles and react accordingly, a software control station that controls the movement of the mouse and allows it to explore the unknown maze, and perform travelling salesman and shorest path problems post-exploration, a virtual mouse to simulate the hardware mouse, to be run on another pc. The microcontroller we were given was once again of a different make, and this made things difficult. This project was tough as we only started in recess week, and didnt continue until after the exams, while other kiasu groups already started when they got their components and continued all the way; but i still feel that we did well :)Also, a few of my teammates were from kazakhstan and it was fun learning their language and culture! and of course we learnt to banter in the expletives of their languages, as they did ours :D we were one of the most noisy groups around, having lotsa fun and laughing at each otehr, doing stupid things, haha unlike the other groups who were all stressed up and stony-eyed. now that the project is over, and they're back in their homeland for the holidays, i kinda miss hanging out with them!
phew, what a long wall of text. haha but alas, this was a semester of many sacrifices and i'm glad it all panned out well :) got my first 1st class result this semester, and i've proven to myself that i can actually make it amongst the many foreigners who have already prior knowlege of computer science and the such.
http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/5898/38431771.jpg
my overall gpa is still crap, due to my absymal showing in the past semesters, but i feel a small tinge of accomplishment, going from no honours to where i am today. :) having said that, there are many more things out there for me to venture into; studies are simply a means to an end.
i think next sem will be damn slack compared to this!(I hope haha) More time to pursue the things that i really want to pursue..
|
|
|
[19 May 2010|11:24pm] |
|
Why is it that even though we are looking at each other, talking to each other, sitting with each other, holding each other, hugging each other, we are still as lonely as ever, 'cos you will never know what's on my mind and I'll never know yours?
|
|
| Drained but happy |
[05 May 2010|12:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
Exams are over and there are 2 weeks worth of projects left to conclude this semester. woohoo! I'm loving it!
This term has really been a great experience for me, even though it's been one of the most demanding ones so far. I think i'll elaborate later post-project :)
But more importantly, I would like to apologize to all for my non-spontaneity, slowness in replying on sms/msn, no-show at outings etc! I'm still here! :)
Well then, it's bed time now. ciao!
|
|
|
[07 Mar 2010|08:27pm] |
才離開沒多久就開始 擔心今天的妳過得好不好
整個畫面是妳 想妳想的睡不著
嘴嘟嘟那可愛的模樣 還有在妳身上香香的味道
我的快樂是妳 想妳想的都會笑
沒有妳在我有多難熬
(沒有妳在我有多難熬多煩惱)
沒有妳煩我有多煩惱
(沒有妳煩我有多煩惱多難熬)
穿過雲層 我試著努力向妳奔跑
愛才送到 妳卻已在別人懷抱
就是開不了口讓她知道
我一定會呵護著妳也逗妳笑
妳對我有多重要 我後悔沒讓妳知道
安靜的聽妳撒嬌 看妳睡著一直到老
就是開不了口讓她知道
就是那麼簡單幾句我辦不到
整顆心懸在半空我只能夠遠遠看著
這些我都做得到但那個人已經不是我
Good songs never grow old :)
|
|
| i miss you.. |
[21 Feb 2010|09:33am] |
Just woke up from a very nice and sweet dream.
I felt so blissful and at ease in the dream, wanting time to hold still for that moment.
but alas, dreams were fleeting moments that you have to wake from.
I tried to fight my waking mind, but I awoke in the cold reality of the morning; trying desperately to remember all that happened in the dream.
but I can only remember the blurred stars trembling slightly, your soft hands, and my heart spilling out..
Another color turns to grey.
_______
Meet me in outer space
We could spend the night
watch the earth come up
I've grown tired of that place
won't you come with me?
We could start again
How do you do it?
Make me feel like I do
How do you do it?
It's better than I ever knew
Meet me in outer space
I will hold you close
if you're afraid of heights
I need you to see this place
It might be the only way that
I can show you how it feels to be inside you
How do you do it?
Make me feel like I do
How do you do it?
It's better than I ever knew
You are stellar.
|
|
|
[10 Jan 2010|11:20pm] |
I am glad for the little things that people do
sometimes I need to open my eyes a little larger
and be more content, appreciate the people around me more
otherwise I will not know what I've been missing out on
it's always nice to know that in the end
when you need a friend
or a listening ear
there will be someone willing to listen and share a shoulder to lean on
|
|
|
[30 Dec 2009|01:42am] |
can't get to sleep despite my best efforts so here I am.
sigh. I am utterly disappointed with myself.
just hope I'm able to pick myself up soon enough.
|
|
| day by day, tiny specks of us float away |
[27 Dec 2009|11:26pm] |
i decided to reply the email today but i found my mind totally blank. have i gone from ambivalance to nonchalance?
hahha the irony of it all..
will try again another day perhaps.
|
|
| Empathy. |
[26 Dec 2009|01:07am] |
Written on 25th September 2009
______________________________
was channel surfing when i came across 明星志工队. After watching the programme detailing peifen's trip to taiwan to help out in a home for sufferers of cerebral palsy, I too felt the urge to reach out and help the less fortunate.
True, such series on TV are prolly a lil erm.. sensationalised?(cant find the word to fill) but yeah but seeing how these patients find the simplest daily routine stuff so difficult, and seeing them try to overcome their difficulties really touches me.
the determination, the courage in their eyes..
There is simply so much for me to learn from them.
I have always wanted to help the community, way before this show, but I never could find the time to do so. blah blah.. but that is not an excuse.. i might try to help out after this hectic academic year ends. Or perhaps i could try to make it for the thailand ocip this december.. not sure if shok mei is going, but i just might if time permits and my gip application fails
It is shows like 明星志工队 that show us how fortunate we are, how we should cherish whatever little we have; for there are people out there who are content and live life to the fullest despite their disablities or severe living conditions.
|
|
|
[26 Dec 2009|12:55am] |
Written on 10th September 2009
_________________________
watching the rain as the shuttle bus trudges along, i fall into deep thought..
i do not know how to love
i am touched by how much others love each other so much
that they can do much for the other person
i wonder if i can ever do the same
|
|
|
[26 Dec 2009|12:48am] |
Written on 19th August 2009
_________________________
发现最近不开心的人多了。就连我也一样，多了许多感触和想法。你可以在别人面前逞强，在朋友面前装傻，甚至和家人假装，但请不要对自己撒谎。一个人时就尽情地哭，尽情地呐喊吧。不要害怕。你可以失败，但不要被打败，可以失望，但不要绝望。眼前的路可能让你迷惑，不知所措。但请不要茫然，并继续硬着头皮坦坦荡荡。尽管最后全身是伤，至少你很勇敢，变得坚强，毫无遗憾。
|
|
| We dont see things as they are, we see them as we are |
[26 Dec 2009|12:41am] |
Written on 11th August 2009
_________________________
but D's words resonated
made me ponder
for quite a long while
she said that the person you consider your close friend
may not see u as their close friend
sometimes we tend to choose to believe in what we want to believe in
and maybe the friendship isnt the way you thought it was
maybe the other party has only treated you as a normal friend
while u regarded the other person as your closest friend
it makes me wonder
and fear
if my friendships are like this
now i know why it is better to be loved more than u love
because at least u have that assurance
...
tryin to keep a nonchalent view towards everything
but my emotions keep getting in the way
i need to learn to be less affected by things and people around me
not heartlessness or emotionlessness
just less affected
staying away is probably the best thing to do
for now
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2){kind=small}
i_4_you's journal
